After much thinking and debate I finally decided I was going to ask Rick to move out. This has little to do with his behaviour towards Merry. Thats just another example of his reckless behaviour and very little respect for my well being.

When it comes down to it the main reason is simply because I'm not happy.

Rick is in my opinion extremely lazy and irresponsible. Not to mention a mean drunk. I think the only way we have a chance of working out is if he moves out and learns responsibility, and then eventually we actually talk about moving in together, and sharing a home, 50/50, not me being his roommate, where he pays the absolute minimum rent, and does the absolute minimum around the house, no thanks, don't wanna be his roommate, I don't wanna split the bills 80/20, nope sorry.

So Rick didn't take it to well. Said it was icing on the cake, and that I must not love him at all but mostly because I told someone in my family what he said to Merry. I must not love him because I was upset and talked to my mom and sister and told them how he upset me. I'm the bad guy because I told someone what happened.... right, lets not even mention what happened and who did it... I'm the bad guy. He also said he would wait till Feb 19 to move out and not pay me another dime. Along with a lot of swearing, slamming doors, and drunk crazy behaviour.

I have a feeling today he will be a little more level headed and appologize... but lets go back to Wednesday, when I said it is absolutely unexeptable for him to say mean things that he doesn't mean at all with the sole intention of trying to upset me, who does that to people they care about?!?!?!? He swore it would never happen agian. So either he meant everything he said or he broke his 4 day old promise.

He had better start kissing my ass or I will have him kicked out.

I don't understand. He used to be almost perfect. I don't even know who he is anymore.

"I feel sorry for the next guy, after three months you will get bored with him, your pathetic"
Thanks Rick. Thanks for being so understanding. I was more than generous letting you stay way beyond what I agreed to. I'm tired of cleaning up after you, your worse than a child. I hate your dog.

Big changes coming. Meg and Gavin moving in. Merry and Rick moving out. As always I put a smile on my face and I'm greatful for my family and my friends and my job. I love life. Nothing can break me.

So it finally came to the point where Merry refuses to live with Rick any longer... and its not as simple as just kicking Rick out, because he would still be around, she isn't going to even put the idea in my head that if I broke up with him she would stay, she's a good person, she is miserable living with us, and its just so frusterating, because I can't win. But maybe I should break up with him....

It is 100% his fault she is moving out, and we both downplayed it to him saying she was going to move out end of March anyway, and gee why is that, because she can't stand living with Rick, so instead of waiting, she is moving out at the end of this month.

So I have three weeks to find a new roommate.

I actually have one prospect, one of my best friends. The problem is she has a 5 year old son. Why is that a problem?? Because I have to give him the extra bedroom, my future nursery... so as long as they live in my house, I cannot have a baby. Dream shattered. Do I want one with Rick anyway? He is slowly destroying my life.

I am thinking of kicking him out. I will be ok just me and Meg financially. We never did discuss living together... he moved in because he had nowhere else to go, it was supposed to be temporary... three months top I believe he said. Here it is 9 months later, he chased my roommate away, his dog has detroyed my backyard and my carpet, ugh I don't know what to do.

Maybe by the end of the year I will get a raise, maybe a significant raise when I'm a CPA. Maybe Rick will find a job making more than 8.50 an hour.... and maybe Meg will move in with Lucian... and if all these maybe's happen, then maybe, maybe, maybe I will be financially able to have a baby in 2015.... yeah right.

Like my client said, I need to find a rich boyfriend who has a career... and stop waiting for Rick to grow up so I can actually have what I want. Is it selfsih for me to not want to give up my dreams and my roommate for someone who is happy that Merry is moving out, who doesn't seem to understand how much his actions mess up what I want in life.

Maybe its time for me to be selfish... and I recall saying this before... several times... and I always end up right back where I was... where is my soul mate?!?!?!?!!??!