Oh what a weekend...

Lets start with the date... actually went really well, he was nice, conversation was good, I taught him about fantasy football, we had a couple drinks and called it a night. I text him when I got letting him know I got home fine and thanks for the drinks, he texted back saying he had a great time and he was caught off guard by how good looking I was... then I never heard from him again. Weird. Whatever.

I went to see Ben Saturday morning, the usual soccer game on tv. I left my jacket by accident, I text him later saying I left it and he said I will just have to come back soon and get it, and then he got all excited that I would have to come back. 

My very good friend Mike got married Saturday night. I think Cait doesn't like me, she never goes with him when we hang out. But seeing the two of them together was awesome, very much in love, very happy, it was beautiful. I cried. It was a really fun night. 

Sunday morning I went to see Ben. We went to breakfast. He sat across from me and started staring at me with a weird look, like you know, that look... and I asked him why he was staring at me, and he smiled and said "I'm just really glad you started talking to me at the bar that one night" referring to the night that we met. WTF!?!? Remember when you said you hated me Ben?! Remember when you said you choose blondie over me because she doesn't have a kid!? I hate boys. 

Blah

Almost three weeks into invisalign, on my second tray, I can tell a difference on the top but not the bottom, I'm excited to see the next trays! I am getting used to having something constantly in my mouth, somewhat getting used to brushing my teeth 5 times a day, and seriously missing red wine. I think because I have to leave this tray in for 4 extra days I am going to designate a couple hours to a bottle of red wine on one of those days.

I have seen Ben twice... I shouldn't... but I did. He facebook messaged me wanting to see me, I was a little hurt he actually deleted my number, he said he was sorry and he missed me and doesn't hate me, etc., so I made him wait 6 hours then I hung out with him. It was nice to see him. I saw him again a week later. I spent a couple hours or so with him... we talked about life... how we ended up to be who we are... I need to stop seeing him.
I have a date tomorrow with a guy who likes to run and likes soccer and is cool with me having a kid... but he's in the air force, divorced, and I dunno... I guess I will just wait and see how it goes.
I miss Ben. There is so much about him that I really like, yet some things I hate.

week one...

Its been a week of invisalign, I can already tell a difference, beside the soreness and discomfort, I actually see a difference!! One week down, 45 to go...

Its been 4 days since I've spoken to Ben. I am still pretty angry at him... but getting better.... I can't help but think about the good times we had, and the super nice things he used to say me... and then I get super angry, how did end up to be such an asshole. Its ok... I'm better off... I'm ok...

What to do

So I talked to Ben.

He said that girl is lots of fun to hang out but crazy, not his type of girl, he likes me, wants to keep seeing me, which is why he has continued to see me.

I dunno.

He wants to make it official, or call it off.

He said a lot of honest stuff, it was nice to talk to him.

I want to be with him. I just want him to act like he wants to be with me. His excuses for being distant aren't quite good enough.

I dunno I dunno. I would like to talk to him in person, not on the phone. He's not coming to soccer tonight. I asked him if we could talk on Thursday and his response was "Orioles play on Thursday" right, ok, so thats a no?

My roommate is driving me bonkers. She asked me last night if it was ok if went to this party, sure I'm not going anywhere, I don't care. BUT she didn't come home, she calls me at 8 saying she was stuck behind a bus and can Emily please walk Gavin to the bus, which comes at 8:08, well Gavin had gotten himself dressed, but needed breakfast, Emily was busy getting ready and eating breakfast, so she had to stop eating and take him. Poor kid, I heard him when he got up calling for her, sorry but your mommy isn't home because she went to a party last night and spent the night out and didn't wake up in time to get you to the bus or to make you breakfast or make sure your good for picture day. He's 5!! I said something to her, she said she's not happy with herself and it won't happen again. It better not, she will lose custody, you can't do that shit!