Ben again....

One night I met up with Ben, he was a little drunk, but he was a happy drunk.
He told me I was his favorite person in the world.

A couple weeks later I noticed Ben got an okcupid notification on his phone.
I questioned it. He said he has commitment problems. Doesn't make sense.
He apologized.

I went away for the weekend. He wanted to hang out as soon as I got back.

He is going away for a little while. He said he wanted to hang out the night before he left.
He said he wanted to go to my soccer game.
He said he wanted to stay at my house that night.
He totally blew me off.

He said he was going to Delaware, then going to the beach, then coming back to Baltimore to play his soccer game on Sunday and then flying to Denver. He didn't say when he was coming back from Denver but he didn't make it sound like he was going for more than a couple days.

So I got mad at him for standing me up. Would have been nice to see him before he left.
He said he was sorry.
He said he won't be gone forever.
I said I'm leaving on the 17th.
He said he won't be back by then.

How?! He said he goes back to work on the 18th.
He also said he would be in town on Sunday.
I'm trying so hard to not get upset.
I'm trying so hard not to care.
Sometimes he's really great, like really great.
Sometimes I feel like I'm just the girl thats around till something better comes along.

I dont know.

I like him. I thought he liked me. He told me how much me liked me.
Am I really just very insecure? I thought I know better.