Friday!

I'm in a good mood today.

I took my exam last night. Its going to be close. Either just passing or just below passing. No point in worrying about it now. Its done, its over, I don't have to study anymore (for now).

Its Friday! yay!! I'm having lunch with one of my fav's!! At one of my fav places, outside and its sooooo nice out, then I'm leaving work early and hopefully meeting up with Ben for happy hour, then meeting up with Merry and then having a draft party at my house, then its a three day weekend! Yes, its a good day.

I also finally got decent sleep.

Boating tomorrow.

Emily loves middle school so far. She is in AVID!! Yay!!

Keith has been trying to hang out, not sure what to do, I like him and want to keep him around but I don't want to lead him on and then be like oh sorry I'm with Ben and I'm a jerk for leading you on for nothing. He's been trying to hang out for like over a month and I keep making up excuses, but he hasn't given up, which doesn't make sense, he's a good looking guy, he's fun, he's smart, he's very unique, he can get any girl he wants, why does he keep calling me? I'm older than him, I don't go out every weekend like he does, we are so different, I dunno, seems kind of messed up to keep him around just in case things don't work out with Ben. Ben is the better choice, he's a little older than Keith, he has a masters degree, a great teaching job, he's into soccer, and the Ravens and the Orioles, and Game of Thrones, and Naked and Afraid, and he seems way more in to me than Keith. Keith has a close family though, family is a big priority to him. Ben is kinda close with his brother but doesn't care much for the rest of his family. His brother plays semi professional soccer for OKC Energy, which is what Ben wished he does, so he kind of idolizes his baby brother. I watched one of his games on a a live utube feed, it was pretty cool.

Stupid picture is sideways.

Ok back to work.

Ben again....

One night I met up with Ben, he was a little drunk, but he was a happy drunk.
He told me I was his favorite person in the world.

A couple weeks later I noticed Ben got an okcupid notification on his phone.
I questioned it. He said he has commitment problems. Doesn't make sense.
He apologized.

I went away for the weekend. He wanted to hang out as soon as I got back.

He is going away for a little while. He said he wanted to hang out the night before he left.
He said he wanted to go to my soccer game.
He said he wanted to stay at my house that night.
He totally blew me off.

He said he was going to Delaware, then going to the beach, then coming back to Baltimore to play his soccer game on Sunday and then flying to Denver. He didn't say when he was coming back from Denver but he didn't make it sound like he was going for more than a couple days.

So I got mad at him for standing me up. Would have been nice to see him before he left.
He said he was sorry.
He said he won't be gone forever.
I said I'm leaving on the 17th.
He said he won't be back by then.

How?! He said he goes back to work on the 18th.
He also said he would be in town on Sunday.
I'm trying so hard to not get upset.
I'm trying so hard not to care.
Sometimes he's really great, like really great.
Sometimes I feel like I'm just the girl thats around till something better comes along.

I dont know.

I like him. I thought he liked me. He told me how much me liked me.
Am I really just very insecure? I thought I know better.