So its been a good three weeks into the paleo diet.
At first I loved it, I was getting creative with what I was eating.
I was enoying the simplicity, the meats, the veggies, yumm

I want pizza.
I want cheese.
I want beer.

I weighed myself after 8 days and I had lost 4 pounds. I know I've lost more since.
Trying to stay motivated.
Hopefully when I get the shakology it will help, it says it helps with junk food cravings. That better include pizza. I crave pizza!!!!!

I made fruit smoothies almost every morning, I'm not tired of those yet, fruit is expensive though. I've been adding coconut milk instead of juice lately, I'm not supposed to drink most juices.

Lunch is usually a salad with meat and only oil and vinegar for dressing, or I will pack leftovers from dinner. Today I had steak, salad, and zuccini.

Dinner is usually a meat, and some sort of veggies. One night I made speghetti squash and meatballs. That was good. Chicken, pork, burgers, steak, meatballs, salmon.... I'm getting bored, what other meats are there, what is good to pair with it?! I miss potatoes.

I have turkey burgers, salmon, and meatballs at home, and some frozen chicken, I don't want any of that tonight. I had steak last night and for lunch today... maybe I will go to Trader Joes and see what looks good, maybe just roast some veggies with bacon.

Tornado watch till 5. Severe thunderstorm warnings. Oh and its 55 degrees. Quite the change from the 20's. Tomorrow is supposed to hit 60. The snow might finally all melt away. But next week its back in the 30's and its supposed to snow. Crazy MD weather.

Ok back to work.

Plan is Meg moves in on Sunday.
Rick still has furniture and random stuff around house.
Says he can't get a truck till Sunday.
Sunday will be interesting!
Last night Emily spent night out.
I was alone.
I slept the best I have in weeks.

After a few crazy episodes Rick says hes sorry and loves me and will never give up on me.
I don't understand crazy.
If you love me and don't want to lose me then why say all the crazy things?

I let my cat sleep in my room. She is a great alarm clock, slept in the bed, didn't bother me till sun up, then attacked me till I got up haha cats are funny.
Today will be the first day she's alone all day, I wonder if she cares or likes it or is lonely? Do cats get lonely? She will have a cat friend on Sunday, never had a cat friend before, hopefully they get along!
I can't decide if I should wait till tax season is over to get a dog, or wait for my sister to move down the street and get dogs together, or maybe just play it by ear and keep volunteering at the SPCA and when the right dog comes along then snatch it up. I dunno.

I have a meeting at Emilys middle school tonight.... MIDDLE SCHOOL!!!! AHHHHHHHHHH!!!!

Changes...

Sometimes I think maybe I am crazy. Maybe my expectations aren't realistic. But then I see all my friends who are married or who are in serious relationships and the way they act towards each other and do things for each other, and I know I'm not crazy.
Its amazing how someone can be wonderful and as soon as they are comfortable they are a totally different person.
Since I've asked Rick to move out things haven't been great, he blames Merry and me for letting it come to this. He thinks I'm crazy for believeing Merry when she says she moved out because of him. Right, shes been lying to me for months about how she can't stand to live with you. Sure Rick, you must know her way better than me.
So February I have no roommate income, and Rick is in a hole and can't pay me till the 21st. Three weeks late. And he's supposed to move out by the 19th.
Not only is it his fault I'm out a roommate, on top of that he can't pay me anything either.
I feel like any person in this situation would feel somewhat obligated to do some extra work around the house or do anything they can to make life a little easier for the person who is super understanding and letting them pay so late. No. No extra help. Nothing. He vaccuumed twice. Thanks. He also ate all my eggs and bread and got all pissy one night when I only made dinner for me. Sorry Rick, I can't afford to feed you and let you live here for free!! I'm not your mom!!!
Long story short, we broke up.
On Valentines Day.
I told him he doesn't meet expectations, and I feel used and taken for granted, and I feel like I give and give and give and get nothing in return, sorry I'm a girl and I need to feel appreciated and loved, and I feel more like a mom than a girlfriend.
I told my brothers the other night that I was gonna break up with him. None of them were surprised. Thomas said I've always been a generous person and would do anything for the people I care about and I deserve to be with someone who would do the same for me, and Rick just isn't that person. So at least I'm not the only one who sees it.
Change will be good.
I will get me house back.
I will clean up all the dog shit in the backyard and plant grass in the spring.
My backyard used to be my favorite place in the world and I get it back.
I will also get my own dog.
Meg and Gav are moving in.
Emily will have a little brother sort of, it will be good for both her and Gavin.
Good things are coming.