I should be studying right now... I don't want to. I'm so tired of it. Rick is working and Merry is at her dads I just want to curl up on the couch and watch a movie Instead I am studying transfers of financial assets. Awesome. 10 more days. Rick and I have been fighting a lot lately... Money sucks. There are two very difficult parts of parenting that make me feel so useless and frusterated. #1 - sick kid - nothing you can do but watch them suffer. AWEFULL!!!! #2 - Not being able to provide for your kid the way you want to because you don't have the money. I want to give her the world, I want her to have nice clothes, I want her to eat good food. I'm doing the best I can but I feel like its not good enough. I make more than the average american. Statistically I think the average is 55k. With two roommates I still am barely surviving. I can only blame myself. My credit card debt. I let someone else use my cards. My fault. I pay for it every day. Credit card debt. Mortgage. Outrageous water bill. Student loans. Car insruance. Internet. Child care. Health insurance. And my guilty pleasures... cell phone, boot camp... I am drowning. Something needs to change. But what? I can't cancel Emilys health insurance, thats my biggest bill!! Can't pull her out of child care. Can't stop paying my credit cards or student loans. Nothing else would really make a dent. So I need more income. Oh right thats why I'm studying. Back to studying.